And by “Jennifer Lopez is hot”, we mean “oddly dressed in an appealing dress with flat hair”.
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Jennifer Lopez is hot? What?
Fox outraged at the poor having access to coffee
Another typical FOX affiliate hatchet-job on the poor, this story is much smoke with little heat.
While we can all agree that supplemental food income should be restricted from $5 coffee beverages, NO WHERE does FOX quantify this practice.
FOX12 in Oregon? How many people spend $5 of their small food income on these drinks? Do you have a number? Is it in the hundreds? Thousands? Is it six?
What FOX really wants is for its under-brained viewers to equate ability with action. Just because poor people CAN waste $5 of their food budget on these drinks doesn’t mean they DO.
Food stamps are for boring, inexpensive things — like bread and milk and apples. The subsidized tokens certainly aren’t for buying expensive coffee beverages that come in cheerful holiday cups.
via Food stamps for Starbucks? Outrage ensues | Seattle’s Big Blog – seattlepi.com.
NEWSFLASH! Pepper spray doesn’t hurt!
Pepper spray does not hurt, it “creates compliance”. The U.S.A. does not torture, it “intensely interrogates”. Pizza is not bread, cheese and tomato sauce, it’s a “vegetable”. Bank credit cards aren’t traps designed to suck as much cash out of your pocket as possible ion the form of interest and fees, they’re “smart money”. Freedom is slavery. War is peace. Ignorance is strength.
Orwell was right.
Charles J. Kelly, a former Baltimore Police Department lieutenant who wrote the department’s use of force guidelines, said pepper spray is a “compliance tool” that can be used on subjects who do not resist, and is preferable to simply lifting protesters.
“When you start picking up human bodies, you risk hurting them,” Kelly said.
Televison things that make me go…hah?
Why does the one Cinnamon Toast Crunch square lick the other? It could just lick itself, couldn’t it? I mean, with a tongue that long… And why are there only two of them in the bowl? Did the crazy Cannibal Crunch one eat the others? Is two squares the suggested serving size?
Jerry is such an asshole that I’d never consider buying insurance from State Farm. He runs his car up the guy wire of a utility pole and then into a building. Anyone think that he won’t be getting a butt reaming no matter which insurance company he has?
White Trash Television
I really want to talk about booze and drinking but that title is too catchy not to use.
Last night’s “Mentalist”, a show we regularly watch, was a repeat. So we watched TRUtv ‘most outrageois’ shows in which a celebrity “D” list jokes about things caught on video.
TRUtv is filled with “reality” shows with repo towing companies whose employees get into fist fights, oil drilling companies whose employees get into fist fights, bars, pawn shops, and probably Texas pre-schools whose employees get into fist fights.
Basically, if there is a company staffed by overweight, tattooed southerners with anger management problems, it has a show on TRU.
So I coined a phrase for TRUtv: White Trash Television.
Now, about the booze.
I like to drink. I like beer and whiskey (whisky) and fine martinis and rum and…well, so on.
My usual imbibement, however, is two drinks. If I’m feeling festive, three. My outside limit is four and then I fall asleep.
That’s why I can’t fathom the people who are stopped for DUI in the ‘outrageous’ shows. They’re so completely, utterly, knee-walking drunk that they can’t recite the letters of the alphabet!
I have never been that drunk in my life, not even in my salad days when I replaced most of my bodily fluids with alcohol and changed it nightly.
How can they drive? How can they find the keys? Or even the damn front door?
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Save me iPhone! Save me!
By now you’ve seen the new commercial for the iPhone 4s in which helpless people ask their iPhones to do things for them or find them information. The software is designed to work because it has access to everything else in your life – inside your phone. For instance, it understands what, “move my 9AM appointment to noon” means because it already knows your schedule.
That’s spooky to me.
The Siri software also apparently understands when you want to search for something. “What does a weasel look like.” the annoying child asks it in the commercial. “How do I tie a bowtie,” asks the guy in the tux.
The thing can even remind you (apparently based on your iPhone grocery list?) to buy milk on the way home from work, if you ask it to.
I suppose there are millions of people who suffer from our modern, culture-induced attention disorders who have the ability to concentrate equivalent to over-caffeinated squirrels and can’t do anything for themselves but, seriously, that’s too much control for me to give to my phone.
It’s like… Well it’s like this:
Indifferent QB signs swooning teens sign
Sam Bradford’s charm brings a young lady to tears – Shutdown Corner – NFL Blog – Yahoo! Sports.
Sure, it’s nice that the young lady now has Sam Bradford’s autograph but it was a team employee who took the girl’s sign to Bradford to sign, there was no interaction at all between the quarterback and the cow-eyed teen.
At her age, she’s probably all gushy over the fact that her sign was even touched by Bradford, I know, and I’m not going to kick her crush to the curb.
All of you ass-kissing bloggers (“Shutdown corner”) who are using this incident to illustrate how great Bradford is as a human being can just stuff it. Try to suck up in some other fashion because at the very best this shows what a nice person the Rams employee is for getting Bradford to sign the placard. At the worst, it shows a crass NFL public relations machine at work, using a young girl’s heartfelt puppy love to score press points.
One Million Housewives takes on the Oreo cookie
There are people in this world with too much time on their hands and I know a million of them. At least, a couple of thousand maybe.
Certified hate group, The American Family Association (a euphemism meaning American Fundamentalist Christian Busybodies) has an organ (heh) known as One Million Moms. OMM is dedicated to the country’s most vulnerable citizens: themselves. But they say that they’re trying to protect our children. How do they do that? Well they tackle the problem issues of our times.
Hunger? No. Lack of health care? Well, not really. Drug use? Um, nope. Issues like: not swearing.
That’s right, NOT swearing. Substituting harmless words or phrases for ones deemed offensive. Specifically, the subbing going on in the hit Oreo Fudge Cremes commercial where everyone makes funny, painfully clean exclamations over the taste of the new cookie product (Grandpa exclaiming, “Franklin Delano!” is my favorite).
Monica Cole, whose photo is strangely hard to come by (in both senses of that phrase, I imagine) is the unacceptably Elfin national directette of this hate group. She whines OMM’s web site, “…”Shut the Front Door.” In today’s teen jargon, that phrase is a euphemism for “Shut the F*@k Up!”
There isn’t a teen alive (except maybe the sheltered teens of One Million Moms) who would think that’s a cool phrase to use out loud.
And so what if it is? Who cares what a couple of thousand right-wing ding-bats consider “thought crime”? I mean “care” in the vein of “take seriously” not in the vein of “Fuck, it’s fun to ridicule them.”
One Million Moms, has started an email campaign against Nabisco and its parent company Kraft Foods for “promoting their Oreo cookie product in a manner that parents find shocking.” They find it “hard to believe that Kraft is unaware what this statement means.” And they ask, “Does Kraft desire for our children to have dirty mouths?” They add, Kraft might have thought this was humorous, but it is not cute when children go around saying this.
via Moms are offended by “shut the front door” – Blog – MyNorthwest.com.
