Today in the news comes a story from the Philippines, a place near and dear to my heart. Those crazy Cebu prisoners who lurched their way to Internet Fame by staging a 1500-inmate version of Michael Jackson's Thriller video performed it once again for the public as a tribute to the Thing of Pop.

In other news the Figurehead of Iran, Moehoward Ahmadeawad, threatened to deliver a "crushing" response to America for telling him that, in spite of its own fondness for cracking the skulls of protesters, it's pretty much wrong to shoot people in the street for speaking their minds.

"The response of the Iranian nation will be crushing," Figurehead Ahmadeawad said after several Muslim clerics told him to.

Yeah well you little ass puppet, we wrote the BOOK on crushing responses!